Bondage
Bondage, the “B” in “BDSM”, generally describes bondage games. But what exactly is it and how do you practise it properly? In this article, we’ll show you everything you need to know about bondage: from beginner to professional!
What is bondage?
The term “bondage” has its origins in English and means something like “bondage, servitude or bondage”. In the case of sexual pratfalls, it is mainly shackles that come into play, in which one of the partners is restrained and thus sexually satisfied.
Bondage is particularly popular as a form of BDSM. In this world, everything revolves around the multifaceted dynamics of power and surrender, the interplay of dominance and submission, control and dependence, domination and submission. This sensual spectacle leads to an exciting production in which the partners involved engage in thrilling role play. Here, one person takes on the role of the submissive while the other slips into the dominant position.
While spanking uses physical pain to produce pleasure by activating the so-called “pleasure through pain” component, bondage focuses on limiting the submissive partner’s freedom of movement through skilled bondage.The idea behind it? Being completely motionless usually triggers instinctive fears in many people, which are closely linked to arousing sensations and therefore increase pleasure. At the same time, the person being tied up and dominated experiences an intense rush of power and control.
Why do people like to be tied up?
Psychologically speaking, on the one hand, bondage is about being at the mercy of the other person. You give yourself completely to the other person and they put you in a certain position. You also stay in this position to give the other person sexual pleasure. Your own body and orifices are used to pleasure the other person – many people find this idea very arousing.
After all, it also serves self-esteem: my body, my being at the mercy of others, in other words, I am arousing for the other person! And in some circumstances, there is also the aforementioned aspect: I am unable to move, I can’t do what I want, I am at the mercy of others, I am being used. And then you feel strong sexual pleasure and the orgasm is very intense. If you want to try bondage, you should approach it gradually to find out how much restriction of movement is arousing.
By the way: Bondage and other BDSM practices were considered perverted and taboo for a long time. However, this changed abruptly with the worldwide success of the “Fifty Shades of Grey” book series by E. L. James. The pure eroticism and submissive devotion with which the titular heroine repeatedly embarked on new BDSM adventures fascinated thousands of people and at the same time aroused their curiosity for bondage games.
According to surveys and studies, it is still unclear exactly how many people indulge in bondage. Perhaps because not everyone necessarily wants to reveal what exactly can happen behind the closed bedroom door. Nevertheless, in recent surveys on sexual fantasies, both bondage and power games regularly land in the top 5.
The advantages of bondage
Fancy some bondage? No wonder, because bondage can stimulate many erotic fantasies. The exciting experience can also help to deepen the sexual and emotional experience. Let’s look at some of the benefits of bondage:
Intensified pleasure and arousal: When our sexual desire is not strong, restricting movement and creating a situation where one partner takes control can increase pleasure and arousal. Anticipation and playing with power and surrender can also increase sexual desire.
Exploring your own limits: Bondage games allows you to explore your own boundaries and preferences in more detail. And It encourages communication between partners as they have to talk about desires, boundaries and expectations.
Increasing intimacy: The trust required for bondage can increase intimacy between partners. It encourages parterns openness and sharing of needs, fears and fantasies.
Variety in the bedroom: Bondage games can bring exciting variety into the bedroom and make lovemaking more interesting. It offers new way for discovery and satisfaction.
Strengthening the emotional bond: Sharing bondage experiences can help deepen the emotional bond between partners. Sharing the excitement of bondage games is exciting.
Stress relief: For those who face a lot of stress in their daily lives, playing bondage games is a great way to relieve stress, as the focus on pleasurable interactions and letting go of control can be very relaxing.
Self-confidence and self-esteem: Trying out being a dominant or submissive can significantly boost your self-confidence. It also benefits your own body image.
Creative development: Bondage is a creative art form that gives both the dominant and submissive partner the opportunity to live out their imagination and creativity. The design of scenarios and the choice of bondage techniques offer scope for creative development.
Discovering your own role: Bondage allows people to explore their preferences regarding the dominant or submissive role. You can find out which role suits you best or whether you enjoy both.
Safe play: Bondage should always be done safely and with intention. It is very important to have safe rules and protocols in place when playing with a partner to make the sexual experience safer.
Who is who in bondage?
Everyone involved in this sexual practice also has their own role and designation. The submissive part, which is also tied up in bondage, is referred to as the rope bottom. The person who ties up, on the other hand, is colloquially referred to as the rope top or rigger.
Bondage for beginners
Before you decorate your bedroom with an endless array of restraints, handcuffs etc., you should be aware that the spectrum of bondage is broad. From cute plush handcuffs to extra-tight restraints, there are many different types of bondage that are popular.
As a bondage beginner, we recommend restricting your partner’s freedom of movement by using rather gentle tools and materials. It is important to use restraints that feel comfortable. These include rubber handcuffs, blindfolds or thin ropes. If you like the stimulation, then slowly work your way up to different toys, such as metal handcuffs, ankle cuffs or even bondage jackets.
In addition to the special bondage toys, you should also follow a few rules. The most important basic rule is that the bound person should not be left alone. This prevents accidents and allows you to release the person quickly in an emergency. Other important rules include
Create a safe environment: If you are a bondage beginner, make sure you hold your first session in a safe environment. The person with whom you embark on your bondage adventure should also be familiar to you. Whether partner, friend or professional – sexual pleasure should never be overshadowed by anxiety.
Communicate openly and honestly: arms, legs, breasts, testicles – a wide variety of body parts can be tied together during bondage. Are all these areas okay for you or your partner? Which bondage techniques should be used?
Assign roles: To avoid misunderstandings, you should be aware in advance of who is taking which part. By the way: Maybe you can take turns so that everyone can experience the games from both perspectives.
Define wishes and boundaries: What is allowed and which body region is an absolute no-go zone? Before you get started, exchange your wishes and no-gos with each other. Which positions would you find interesting? Do you want the bondage to be more of a punishment or a reward? Do you dominate in a cool or caring way?
Use a safeword: Bondage beginners in particular often don’t know when too much is really too much. To ensure that neither of you has to endure unnecessary pain, you should define a clear safeword. If this is spoken, the bondage session must end immediately.
Be aware of the taboo zone: When it comes to bondage, the rule is always that the neck should remain free. This is because there is not only the sensitive windpipe, but also the gullet and neck vertebrae. These are all very sensitive areas of the body that can quickly become dangerous when tying and gagging.
Always remember Safety First: No matter whether you are a bondage beginner or have already dealt with the subject in detail: Bondage involves risks. However, to keep the fun and sexual pleasure in the foreground, you should always make sure to use basic rules, regulations and best practices
The best bondage tools
Of course, bondage also includes restraints? But which ropes are actually suitable for bondage? You should steer clear of heavy-duty ropes from the DIY store, such as wire ropes or clotheslines. These can quickly become very dangerous and spoil the fun of bondage. Stretchy ropes that contract quickly when used can also cut off the blood supply. Bad for you!
On the other hand, softer bondage ropes made from cotton, jute, synthetic fibers or hemp are much better. Although these are not overly resilient, they can still be handled much more professionally. You can also find a large selection of suitable and safe bondage ropes for your bondage adventure in our Valiters store.
Other popular bondage toys include
Scarves and straps
Bondage bags and jackets
The best bondage positions
To make bondage even more fun for you and your partner, you should know and try out the different sex positions. The three most popular include:
Bondage position 1: Spread eagle
In this position, the person being tied up lies on their back with their arms and legs outstretched. This gives the dominant partner full control over the submissive’s body. Hand and ankle cuffs or ropes can be used to secure the restraint. This position offers numerous opportunities for erotic stimulation and the expression of dominance and submission.
Bondage position 2: Hogtie
In the hogtie, the bound person is tied to the feet with their hands behind their back. This position is demanding and requires a certain amount of experience as it severely restricts freedom of movement. It can be particularly humiliating and stimulating as the bound person lies in a very restrictive position.
Bondage position 3: Bound in a sitting or standing position
In this variation, the bound person is fixed in a sitting or standing position. This can be done with the help of chairs or special bondage furniture, for example. These positions allow a certain freedom of movement while the person is still restricted. They can be used for role play and various types of
Fancy more? In this article, we show you numerous other popular bondage sex positions.
These types of bondage exist
Bondage can be performed in different ways and used for different purposes. Sometimes different materials and aids are used, such as ropes, shoelaces, (leather) belts or the St. Andrew’s cross.
One form can be to restrict the partner’s freedom of movement in order to make sex more exciting and thrilling. This can include the use of handcuffs, for example. Fixing the wrists to the bedposts with handcuffs can be very appealing for some people because they feel a bit at the mercy of their partner. They can no longer lead with their hands and the other person kisses, caresses and licks their body. This type of bondage is often combined with a blindfold to restrict the sense of touch and sight at the same time so that other senses are heightened.
However, bondage can also be carried out with ropes several meters long – either to restrict movement, to keep a person in certain positions (e.g. during spanking), to keep a person in positions that can become painful over time (e.g. as punishment) or for aesthetic reasons. Bondage can involve complex restraint techniques that result in symmetrical patterns and knots.
However, when we talk about types of bondage, we are basically describing four different forms:
1. purpose bondage
This is a form of bondage in which the restraints primarily fulfill a practical purpose. This can be the case during medical examinations or in BDSM games, for example, where the restraints are used to restrict the partner’s freedom of movement in order to carry out certain actions or procedures. The focus here is on the functionality of the restraints.
2. torture bondage
Torture bondage, also known as torture bondage, is an extreme form of bondage where the aim is to cause intense physical or emotional sensations. This can include pain, humiliation or degradation. It is important to emphasize that torture bondage should only be practiced in a safe, consensual and agreed context.
3. ornamental bondage
Ornamental bondage focuses on the aesthetic component of bondage and the artful restraint of the body. It aims to create visually appealing patterns and designs with the restraints. This form of bondage can be used in art and erotic photography and often does not have a primary focus on sexual stimulation.
4. shibari
Shibari is a Japanese form of bondage characterized by complex and aesthetically pleasing knotting techniques. The goal of Shibari is often to create visually appealing bondage, focusing on aesthetics and the bond between partners. Shibari is often considered a sensual and artistic practice and can foster a deep emotional connection between partners. It requires a high level of skill and precision in the knotting techniques.
Conclusion: Bondage are special bondage games
As you can see, bondage can also be integrated or combined with your existing sex life. As with all BDSM games, it is advisable to agree on a code word or safeword so that the bondage game can be quickly interrupted.
